It was first thing this morning when I first saw that pumpkins had taken over my lawn furniture. They had marched on there with rifles and tweezers quoting Tolstoy. What happened next is something of a mystery but somehow they stole all the money out of my wallet and bought KFC for all my neighbors.

Fortunately for me the chicken repeated on me and I defeated the pumpkin army by belching a lungfull of KFC breath all over them.

If this ever happens to you, go to the nearest emergency exit and flag down a passing Rhino.