Whenever I see flashing neon mushrooms I feel like my head is about to take a midget prisoner on a wild ride in a juice monkey. My headache comes back when I wash the dishes and lick the gravel up from the internet. Headaches can be a real turning point in the daily routine of a beetle or indeed a world war 2 airship.

The last headache I went to see was in 2005 when president Bush was entertaining a giant tangerine in a two-man ridge tent. It was like he never even knew me but we all know that headaches bring out the worst in tinned meat.

If you suffer from headaches and spelling mistakes, don’t worry, you can always go to the laundry and buy a new knitting needle.

Remember, it’s never too late to let headaches wear a seat belt.