Eating sawdust is much less fun than it seems. I mean, sure, it looks like something astronauts might do while they’re playing hopscotch on the surface of the congealed custard, but believe me when I tell you it’s a chore.

Don’t even go there girlfriend.

You may well have an opinion on the subject of old duck’s legs but it hardly constitutes a convincing argument when it comes to lagging your pipes in the winter. So as you can see eating sawdust gets you absolutely nowhere

Leave the sawdust eating to whales and albino moles. Their physiology is set up to deal with it. It’s why they have an extra testicle and a TV implanted in their amigdala.

I suggest you get a tattoo of a vacuum cleaner on you cactus and have done with it.